Bureaucracy
21/10/2006 12:35 Filed in:
Appenzeller
Invented by the Germans, it has been heavily
refined by the Swiss.
I remember, years ago, when I first arrived in
Germany, I turned up at the Landratsamt (district
offices) one day, naive as I was, and said:
"Hi, I've just declared Germany to be my new
home!".
They gave me a form to complete, telling them where
I lived, my date of birth etc. and then they gave
me a document which allowed me to live and work in
Germany - no restrictions - for one year. I then
went off to find a job.
After that year I went back to have the document
extended and got a stamp which said 'five years'.
After the five years they wanted to extend it for
another five years.
I politely said, that this was getting tedious - I
intend to stay for longer ...
They looked in the computer, looked at my passport
and then gave me a new document which had the magic
word 'Unbegrenzt/Unrestricted'.
I took the document and put it in my wallet. It was
in there for 26 years and I didn't need it once!
When I decided to move to Switzerland I was
informed that, for immigration purposes, I needed
to have a job beforehand, my future boss would have
to apply to have me allowed to immigrate and while
doing so, would have to submit proof, that he was
unable to find a Swiss person capable of doing what
I was coming to do!
Being unaware of the extremes of bureaucracy I
phoned my new boss a week after he made the
application and asked if he had heard anything yet.
He hadn't.
Did he have a phone number for me?
He did.
I phoned the office in Sankt Gallen and was
connected to a polite gentleman.
I know now, that his name is Bünzli.
After a search that lasted several minutes he told
me that, yes, the application was on his desk, but
it was at the bottom of The Pile. I asked if,
seeing as he had just pulled it out to look at it,
it might just be at the top of The Pile now?
It wasn't.
Two days later I phoned Mr. Bünzli again, to ask if
my application had moved up The Pile any further?
Apparently there were two or three applications,
that had crept in below mine ...
I phoned next day.
My application hadn't made any progress, nor the
next day.
The day after, Mr Bünzli sounded rather annoyed, as
he informed me, 'applying for permission to
immigrate into Switzerland, was not like purchasing
an air-ticket!'
Well yes - I understood that, but surely it can't
be any more complicated, than a move to Germany.
Well, actually it is - there are a great number of
facts to take into consideration!
I can only presume, that he had to check all of the
Swiss unemployment lists, to see if he might find
someone who could be persuaded to do my job after
all ...
Obviously he couldn't. I phoned a day later and he
told me, he had passed my application on to the
Fremdenpolizei/aliens' police. Ooops!
Had I paid all of my parking tickets? There was
that one in France a few years back, that I had
ignored. Was that going to jeopardise my chances
now?
I asked Mr Bünzli, if he could give me the number
of the person he had passed the forms on to?
There was relief in his voice, as he told me the
number.
I phoned the guy from the aliens' police. And the
next day and so on ...
After a week a provisory acceptance of my
application fluttered through the letterbox and I
moved to Switzerland.
Here the process was remarkably similar to that in
Germany.
The difference is, that the slips of paper,
allowing residence and employment are restricted to
specific Cantons (counties) for the first twelve
months and are marked with a large letter 'A', 'B'
or 'C' for beginners, intermediates and
professionals.
An 'A' allows you to cross the border into
Switzerland to work, if you promise to return home
in the evening.
A 'B' allows you to reside and work here for twelve
months (**new** five years for EU members), after
twelve months it can be extended to five years - if
you were on your very best behaviour the whole
time!
After being a resident for five years, you may
apply for the magic 'C' - 'Unrestricted', after ten
years it is granted automatically - if you were ...
see above.
Recently, being here the five years, I made my
application for my 'C'.
it was granted after just six weeks!
Apparently I had been on my best behaviour. I
haven't been arrested once, since being here and
have never been fined for speeding!
I don't deal with drugs and they never caught me
driving under the influence ...
I now have the magic words:
'Unrestricted until 28th December 2010'
You'll have to excuse me while I fetch my
dictionary and look up the word 'unrestricted' ...