Bureaucracy

Invented by the Germans, it has been heavily refined by the Swiss.

I remember, years ago, when I first arrived in Germany, I turned up at the Landratsamt (district offices) one day, naive as I was, and said:
"Hi, I've just declared Germany to be my new home!".
They gave me a form to complete, telling them where I lived, my date of birth etc. and then they gave me a document which allowed me to live and work in Germany - no restrictions - for one year. I then went off to find a job.
After that year I went back to have the document extended and got a stamp which said 'five years'.
After the five years they wanted to extend it for another five years.
I politely said, that this was getting tedious - I intend to stay for longer ...
They looked in the computer, looked at my passport and then gave me a new document which had the magic word 'Unbegrenzt/Unrestricted'.
I took the document and put it in my wallet. It was in there for 26 years and I didn't need it once!

When I decided to move to Switzerland I was informed that, for immigration purposes, I needed to have a job beforehand, my future boss would have to apply to have me allowed to immigrate and while doing so, would have to submit proof, that he was unable to find a Swiss person capable of doing what I was coming to do!

Being unaware of the extremes of bureaucracy I phoned my new boss a week after he made the application and asked if he had heard anything yet.
He hadn't.
Did he have a phone number for me?
He did.

I phoned the office in Sankt Gallen and was connected to a polite gentleman.
I know now, that his name is Bünzli.
After a search that lasted several minutes he told me that, yes, the application was on his desk, but it was at the bottom of The Pile. I asked if, seeing as he had just pulled it out to look at it, it might just be at the top of The Pile now?
It wasn't.

Two days later I phoned Mr. Bünzli again, to ask if my application had moved up The Pile any further?
Apparently there were two or three applications, that had crept in below mine ...
I phoned next day.
My application hadn't made any progress, nor the next day.
The day after, Mr Bünzli sounded rather annoyed, as he informed me, 'applying for permission to immigrate into Switzerland, was not like purchasing an air-ticket!'
Well yes - I understood that, but surely it can't be any more complicated, than a move to Germany.
Well, actually it is - there are a great number of facts to take into consideration!

I can only presume, that he had to check all of the Swiss unemployment lists, to see if he might find someone who could be persuaded to do my job after all ...
Obviously he couldn't. I phoned a day later and he told me, he had passed my application on to the Fremdenpolizei/aliens' police. Ooops!
Had I paid all of my parking tickets? There was that one in France a few years back, that I had ignored. Was that going to jeopardise my chances now?

I asked Mr Bünzli, if he could give me the number of the person he had passed the forms on to?
There was relief in his voice, as he told me the number.

I phoned the guy from the aliens' police. And the next day and so on ...
After a week a provisory acceptance of my application fluttered through the letterbox and I moved to Switzerland.

Here the process was remarkably similar to that in Germany.
The difference is, that the slips of paper, allowing residence and employment are restricted to specific Cantons (counties) for the first twelve months and are marked with a large letter 'A', 'B' or 'C' for beginners, intermediates and professionals.

An 'A' allows you to cross the border into Switzerland to work, if you promise to return home in the evening.
A 'B' allows you to reside and work here for twelve months (**new** five years for EU members), after twelve months it can be extended to five years - if you were on your very best behaviour the whole time!
After being a resident for five years, you may apply for the magic 'C' - 'Unrestricted', after ten years it is granted automatically - if you were ...
see above.

Recently, being here the five years, I made my application for my 'C'.
it was granted after just six weeks!
Apparently I had been on my best behaviour. I haven't been arrested once, since being here and have never been fined for speeding!
I don't deal with drugs and they never caught me driving under the influence ...
I now have the magic words:
'Unrestricted until 28th December 2010'

You'll have to excuse me while I fetch my dictionary and look up the word 'unrestricted' ...
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