Overheard ...

American Tourist - It must be confusing, living in a country where three languages are spoken, all the towns have to have three names.

Swiss Guy - ??

AT - Well, for instance, Lucerne is also called Locarno and Lausanne.

SG - Really - I hadn't realised!

@Esther and anyone else that may dislike plastic tulips - I do too.

The tulips in my window are the real thing and at the moment they are the only flowers around here, that haven't been smothered by 70 cm of snow!

Just a few weeks ago heavy snow falls caused chaos for British commuters.
It was a Thursday and five centimetres of snow fell.
British workers in their hundreds failed to turn up for work on both Thursday and Friday, even though the roads and rails had been cleared.

Bearing this in mind, I decided, yesterday, not to go to work.
After listening to the weather forecast, however, I changed my mind and decided postpone my absence until next week!
After all - we only have 60 cm of snow and down in the valley (St. Gallen) it is even less!

Remember the pictures I posted yesterday evening?

These are the same windows, but the view was a little altered by the time I got up this morning ...



My coppice hasn't been tidied up yet, but the felled trees on both slopes are now nicely camouflaged with snow.
I would like to point out once more - they could be in the saw mill by now!



I hope my tulips will be warm enough!

The best chocolate, the Swiss say, comes from Switzerland.
Nothing else in the world can compare to it!

The best chocolate in the world is made by Lindt.
So they say.
How strange then that the Germans will tell you, that the best chocolate in the world is the German Ritter Sport.
And the Belgians? The whole world knows that the best chocolate is made in Belgium!

I wonder if the Swiss ever considered the fact, that the largest Lindt factory in the world is actually in Aachen - Germany!

Cadburys Fruit and Nut anyone?

It's been a month now.

We've had mixed weather, I'll give them that, but all in all we've had a lot of sun.
So why haven't they tidied my view up yet?



Now even the opposite slopes are covered with trees that have fallen prey to the chain saws.
You can just make them out in the picture - the view from my office window.
Yet they haven't moved the felled trees from my coppice yet, they are still lying there between the trees they left standing, waiting to be taken away to the saw mill!
You'd think they'd tidy up before they moved on ...

... I've taken to looking out of the dining room window instead. The view is less cluttered!

I wanted to go for a spin on the motorbike. You wouldn't believe it, from the pictures, but there is a gale force wind blowing right now. I'll leave the motorcycling to others for now ...

The Gods have gone mad.

Yesterday I went to work by motorbike.
Not because I am masochistic, but because the weather was so nice!

Today we have 20 cm of snow.

They have promised us 20 °C for Monday!

I don’t read the Guardian (chance would be a fine thing), don’t have BBC4 and (therefore) have never heard of Charlie Brooker. Who is he anyway?

And who are Webb and Mitchell?
And what is the television series ‘Peep Show’ about?

The answers to all these questions might allow me to understand why this Charlie, whoever he is, recently described me as being a smug, preening, tosser.
(I presume that last word is something derogative?)

This Charlie, apparently, hates all Mac users and even hates people who wished they could use a Mac.
How stupid is that?
If all Mac users hated all PC users and vice versa, there would be bombs lying under our desks in a morning; you would be scared to turn on your computer in case it had been rigged to explode; you couldn’t touch your mouse, for fear of loosing fingers!

The situation would be worse than anything the IRA ever concocted!

My first encounters with computers were in 1980 - I already wrote about that.
I’ve tried them all and I have both Macs and PCs at home. I have to, the costs of developing specialised applications for both platforms are just too high for some developers, so I use this software here, that software there.

I don’t like PCs but I have to use them. I would imagine that's how most users feel ...
I like Macs and I have to use them too. My colleagues feel the same way.

What is the difference? I mean, they both run MS Office, MS Internet Explorer, Outlook, Adobe Photoshop, InDesign, QuarkXPress etc. so what is the difference?

An example: I just switched on my Mac (I don’t usually switch it off, but I did some tidying up last night). It booted and I got on with some work.
At almost the same time I switched on my PC (I usually switch it off - regular use is frustrating).

When it had booted, a little message popped up to tell me it was connected to a network. Well, of course you are, silly, you always have been - how else would I swap files with other machines or get on the internet?

Then a message appeared to tell me that my virus definitions are older than twelve hours and I am at risk of being infected.

Another message informed me, that my firewall is inactive and I am at risk of being hacked (silly - there’s an external, dedicated firewall right behind you!)

Yet another window popped up to tell me, that a newer version of Windows is awaiting me and if I wish to be sure that my machine is secure, I should take advantage of it.

I activate my Outlook.
Now the one I like best of all pops up:
'An element requires your attention - no action is necessary, would you like to take this action?'
Come again?!
I’ve tried switching this one off (it costs me $125 a year to maintain) but then a big orange window appears to tell me ‘You are deactivating Internet Security, which will make you prone to all sorts of nasty things. Do you really want to do this?’
So - every five minutes, I click to confirm that I do not wish to take any action.

And so it continues. Ten minutes and I haven’t done anything productive yet at all ...
... are there really people out there, that get paid for clicking away at these silly little boxes all day long?
I get paid for producing magazines and letterheads, brochures and things like that ...

So now this Charlie person, comes along and tells me he hates me!
Because I’m more productive than he is, or what?

The plane lands at 06:00, my lady-friend told me.
I got to the arrivals hall at Zurich airport at 05:45
I’m an optimist, some flights actually arrive ahead of schedule.

A glance at the flight board:
Planned arrival 06:40 - expected arrival 07:40!
I double check the flight number - correct!

I look at the note that has been tucked into my pocket - 06:00!
Oh no!!
And the time of arrival has shifted again - another ten minutes!
So what does one do at Zurich airport for two hours or more?

While drinking coffee, I reflected on something I’d read on Charlotte’s Web.
I lived in England for the first 21 years of my life and have lived in Germany and Switzerland since ...
I am still a British national, but am I really British?
What am I, if not British?
German? Certainly not! Swiss? No Way! European perhaps?
Whatever - I do have a lot in common with Charlotte!

Things that help me fit in:

• I am not as conservative as British people I know. But I used to be.
• I enjoy dark Weizenbier (as often as possible).
• I always have a crate or two of beer in my Cellar.
• I often visit, or have visitors for coffee and cake on a Sunday afternoon
and go for a walk afterwards.
• I have difficulty changing gears with my left hand
(And whenever I want to use the hand brake it has disappeared).
• I automatically say ‘Sie’ (Thou) to strangers.
• I prefer ground coffee beans to Nescafé.
• I complain about the size and shape of Bretzels in Switzerland
(which would make me German).
(I complain about life in general in Switzerland, which again places me in Germany)
• If someone drops litter in the street, I will reprimand them.
• I get up earlier in Winter to clear snow from the drive.


Things that make me British:

• I never learned to use my elbows in a ‘Queue’.
• I can’t understand, that Europeans can’t see the logic behind said queues.
• I can’t get into the habit of removing my shoes in my own home, but will in other people’s homes.
• I can’t see anything good about a Metzgete.
• I import tea and Daddies Brown Sauce from England.
• I prefer custard to vanilla sauce.
• I still can’t see logic behind ‘the, the and the’ (der, die, das, le, la and les especially as they often conflict in German and French).
• I can’t resist Liquorice Allsorts, Salt and Vineagar Crisps or Ginger biscuits.
(Why on earth does my spell checker want to remove the ‘e’ from vineagar)
• I prefer vineagar on my chips and don’t even want to try to imagine what they would taste like with mayonnaise!
• I didn’t realise you could put the hood up on a Cabriolet!

I shall never be a real German or real Swiss. For one thing I can’t see why I should pay a fee for not having served in the Army, just to obtain a new nationality.

Where do you fit in with the country you live in and what makes you typically different?
If you feel like playing, consider yourself tagged!