I don’t read the Guardian (chance would be a fine thing), don’t have BBC4 and (therefore) have never heard of Charlie Brooker. Who is he anyway?

And who are Webb and Mitchell?
And what is the television series ‘Peep Show’ about?

The answers to all these questions might allow me to understand why this Charlie, whoever he is, recently described me as being a smug, preening, tosser.
(I presume that last word is something derogative?)

This Charlie, apparently, hates all Mac users and even hates people who wished they could use a Mac.
How stupid is that?
If all Mac users hated all PC users and vice versa, there would be bombs lying under our desks in a morning; you would be scared to turn on your computer in case it had been rigged to explode; you couldn’t touch your mouse, for fear of loosing fingers!

The situation would be worse than anything the IRA ever concocted!

My first encounters with computers were in 1980 - I already wrote about that.
I’ve tried them all and I have both Macs and PCs at home. I have to, the costs of developing specialised applications for both platforms are just too high for some developers, so I use this software here, that software there.

I don’t like PCs but I have to use them. I would imagine that's how most users feel ...
I like Macs and I have to use them too. My colleagues feel the same way.

What is the difference? I mean, they both run MS Office, MS Internet Explorer, Outlook, Adobe Photoshop, InDesign, QuarkXPress etc. so what is the difference?

An example: I just switched on my Mac (I don’t usually switch it off, but I did some tidying up last night). It booted and I got on with some work.
At almost the same time I switched on my PC (I usually switch it off - regular use is frustrating).

When it had booted, a little message popped up to tell me it was connected to a network. Well, of course you are, silly, you always have been - how else would I swap files with other machines or get on the internet?

Then a message appeared to tell me that my virus definitions are older than twelve hours and I am at risk of being infected.

Another message informed me, that my firewall is inactive and I am at risk of being hacked (silly - there’s an external, dedicated firewall right behind you!)

Yet another window popped up to tell me, that a newer version of Windows is awaiting me and if I wish to be sure that my machine is secure, I should take advantage of it.

I activate my Outlook.
Now the one I like best of all pops up:
'An element requires your attention - no action is necessary, would you like to take this action?'
Come again?!
I’ve tried switching this one off (it costs me $125 a year to maintain) but then a big orange window appears to tell me ‘You are deactivating Internet Security, which will make you prone to all sorts of nasty things. Do you really want to do this?’
So - every five minutes, I click to confirm that I do not wish to take any action.

And so it continues. Ten minutes and I haven’t done anything productive yet at all ...
... are there really people out there, that get paid for clicking away at these silly little boxes all day long?
I get paid for producing magazines and letterheads, brochures and things like that ...

So now this Charlie person, comes along and tells me he hates me!
Because I’m more productive than he is, or what?